


Enough

by hops



Series: Sizzled Out [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-Canon, The Big Argument You've Been Waiting For, for real though taako and luce have their Final Screaming Match and it hurts, implied stolen century taagnus if you squint, stolen century magcretia as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 01:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hops/pseuds/hops
Summary: "Taako, we have had this conversation a hundred times. You know why I had to do what I did. You know that I'm sorry. You know that I wish there was another way that I could have—"Taako slammed both of his palms down on the counter. "There was another way! There were so many other ways, and you chose the one that tore us all apart and made us forget everything we ever fucking had!"Taako arrives in Raven's Roost unannounced and finds Lucretia in Magnus's house, leaving them alone together for the first time since his memory returned. He knows just what to say to cut deep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a huge, huge thank you to @epersonae and @emirose for editing the fuck out of this and being lovely and encouraging. this wouldn't be what it is without your help!!
> 
> also, just a shoutout to WDA in general..... i lov my discord

Lucretia sat on Magnus’s couch, curled up with a half-finished book and a cup of tea. Despite the quickly fading evening (and the fact that she’d already gotten into her pajamas,) Magnus had gone out to get some cider for them to drink for the night. It’d been awhile since they’d had the time to sit down together and just enjoy each other’s company, with Magnus overseeing reconstruction efforts in and around Raven’s Roost and Lucretia heading up things at the moon base as the Director of the new  Bureau of Benevolence. She’d come to Raven’s Roost to spend a few uninterrupted days with Magnus, this being the first night. 

There was nothing better to her than spending time with a book and with her… boyfriend? No, that wasn’t right. They weren’t quite  _ dating _ . She felt as though they’d surpassed that kind of labeling decades ago. He was just her Magnus. There was no other way to categorize such a loving soul that always found its way back to her own, like gravity. 

She was glad they’d come together once again. There was no word capable of capturing just how much she had missed him. She sipped her tea and sunk further into the couch. Her mind was wandering, up and away from her book and into the thought of him, buzzed and laughing and tasting of cider. So much was different now, but it still felt like home. 

She was pulled from her daydream by a brisk knock on the front door, followed almost immediately by the ringing of the doorbell.  _ Weird,  _ she thought, placing her book down on the coffee table (crafted by Magnus, of course) and standing up to answer. Perhaps Magnus had locked himself out, or he needed her help bringing something inside. She walked through the front hall and sure enough, the door was locked. He always took care to make sure she was safe, after all. She relaxed slightly and turned the lock to pull it open. 

"Hey, did you—" she began to ask about the lock, about the cider, but the thought stopped short as the figure in the doorway came into view. It certainly wasn't Magnus.  

Taako's wide eyes met her own. The silence between them was so heavy she could feel it pressing her down, down into the grain of the wooden floor, down into a place where she wouldn't have to see him and that accusatory look, down into a place where she could hide in her own created solitude and mourn what she did to him, to all of them, by herself. A wretched part of her ached for that loneliness once more; at least within it, she didn't have to face the silent and ice-cold anger from her friend. Her brother. Her heart.  

She longed for him to make a joke, even at her expense, but instead he looked away. "What are you doing here?" he asked. It sounded less like a question and more like an accusation. She knew what he was thinking, about her and Magnus, and he wasn't wrong. 

"Am I not allowed to be here?" 

"That's not what I'm asking."  

She took her eyes off his weary face long enough to note the plate of cookies in his hand. Peanut butter chocolate chip, with little chunks of peanuts. Magnus's favorite. Her heart sank in her chest.  

"He just went out to get cider."  

She watched as Taako tapped his foot impatiently, looking off somewhere to the side of the house. After a long, uncomfortable moment, he turned back to look at her. "Well, you can send him my warmest fucking regards."  

He shoved the plate into her hands and she took it on reflex. "Taako—"  

"Oh no, don't even start with  _ Taako  _ now," he mimicked the way she always said his name. "I'm good. Save the speech for the next family reunion, 'kay?" 

She stood with her mouth closed, unmoving, clutching the plate of cookies with both hands. The feeling of his gaze on her paralyzed her. Taako turned like he was going to leave, but she watched as his bottom lip quivered just barely, just enough to signify that he had something else to say.  

"You're sleeping together again?" And once more, it's an accusation. "That's fucking  _ rich."  _

"We're not—" she tried to start. There's nothing she could think to say to defend herself. Taako knew what was happening. He wasn't an idiot. (Or at least, not anymore. The memory of his condition after the mindwipe, the way he'd barely known any magic at all even after the ten years spent all over Faerun, shook her.) She took a moment to steady herself, but by the time she was ready to formulate a sentence, Taako was pushing past her and into the house, snatching the plate out of her hands and back into his own.  

"Holy shit, that IS rich. How long?" Taako muttered loudly, pacing into the kitchen. "Oh, let me guess: 'oh, we're not, I'm just here on official Bureau of Be-fucking-nevolence business,' right?" He mocked her calm tone of voice once more. She followed him to the kitchen and watched as he set the plate down with some attitude on the counter.  

"Since Carey and Killian's wedding," she stated plainly, leaning against the counter and folding her arms. There was no use in lying to him anymore. The clenching of his fist caught her attention. 

"Well, I'm happy for you both."  

"What are  _ you  _ doing here, Taako?"  

Taako folded his arms, mirroring her pose. "Do I need your permission to visit him now?"  

He was starting to piss her off. She furrowed her brow in annoyance. "No, you don't. But he's not here, and you're just barreling in looking to start a fight with me and I'll tell you, like I tell you every time, Taako, I understand that you're angry and I'm not asking for you to forgive me, or even speak to me, but I need to move forward with my life, too. And that has included, and continues to include, seeing my family."  

"Huh, you would think that term stopped applying a long time ago, no?"  

The words cut through her so quickly that she could barely gather her thoughts to formulate a response. And still, he was so  _ casual  _ about it, looking down at his freshly painted nails on his folded hand. Her nails carved half-moons into her palms as her heart fractured; she could feel it beginning to crumble apart again. There were only so many times she could keep reassembling it, only so many times that she could tell Taako she was sorry before she made herself sick with the sound.  

She swallowed tears. "They  _ are _ my family." 

He laughed. 

Suddenly, her blood was boiling and she was stepping forward towards him. "No matter what you think, no matter what I  _ did,  _ they are my family. And so are you, Taako, whether we're on speaking terms or not. You can hate me forever, you can never see me again, and you'd still be my family."  

"You've got a lot to say about family for someone who delights in tearing them apart."  

She reeled, feeling herself losing her composure and, for what might have been the first time in a century, seeing red at the hands of one of her own. Her lip trembled as she opened her mouth to speak, but her voice was absolutely certain. "Taako, we have had this conversation a hundred times. You know why I had to do what I did. You know that I'm sorry. You know that I wish there was another way that I could have—"  

Taako slammed both of his palms down on the counter. "There was another way! There were so many other ways, and you chose the one that tore us all apart and made us forget  _ everything we ever fucking had!"  _

"I didn't—" she stammered. The thought of Davenport, completely incapacitated, sends another piece of her heart crumbling away. And then, the memory of Taako, the smartest and sharpest elf she'd ever met, standing before her at the moon base after so long, laughing:  _ I'm just a simple idiot wizard.  _ She closed her eyes for a moment. "I didn't know what it would it would do. I didn't... I didn't think it would be so bad."  

"Oh, not so bad? I mean, all the bullshit about me aside, Davenport? Barry?  _ Lup? _ We were so fucking close to finding her, and you took that away from us! She spent a decade in that umbrella  _ all because of you!"  _

She couldn't help the cry that bubbled in her throat and surfaced as a yell. "I did what I did  _ because of the relics!  _ Because you all never  _ listened  _ to me!" Her chest rose and fell quickly for a moment as she caught her breath. 

There was a blank look in his eyes, followed by the subtle realization that he'd never heard her yell before. Not like this. "So that's how you got back at us, for not doing your plan. That's... wow. You are truly something else,  _ Lucy.”  _ he said softly, but spat out her nickname like poison. 

“This isn’t about me-- I--” She stammered, suddenly aware that she had a tense hand gripping onto the edge of the countertop. 

“Instead of just fucking talking to us, you championed yourself and made yourself some kind of martyr and built a second fucking moon. It’s  _ always  _ been about you.” 

She leaned back slightly, dizzied by the accusation. 

“You think I  _ wanted  _ this? Why would I  _ ever  _ want this, Taako? You were all away for so long, and--” 

“ _ We  _ were away? You were the one who put us there while you got to play queen for a day,” he snapped. 

"I was  _ ALONE!"  _ She cried, close to screaming. The room swallowed the sound and she took a deep breath." I was  _ alone  _ for ten years.  _ I was hurting too."  _

"You made that choice!"  

"Yes, I made that choice because I  _ had  _ to, not because I wanted to!"  

He scoffed. "You made the choice and—and destroyed all six of us, and you still make it about yourself! You and your  _ fucking  _ victim complex.” 

"I did what I did because even before I erased everything, you were all unrecognizable! You—you were broken, you were shells of who you were!" Every word she spoke got louder. "And it broke ME every day to wake up and find you all grieving. For a year, all of us, grieving! What kind of  _ life is that? _ "   

She watched his eyes soften, just barely, at the sight of her. It was then she realized she'd started to cry.  

Still, he had more to say. "We could have found Lup. We could have figured it out before..."  

For the first time in the argument, and perhaps ever, she was the one still riled up and shouting. "She was in the umbrella before any of us could have found her! And how would we have known?"  

"I would have known! I know my fucking sister, believe it or not!" And there it was: if he hadn't snapped before, this was it. Fat tears brimmed and glimmered in his eyes.  

"You think I  _ wanted to  _ take her from you?! That I did it on PURPOSE?" She ignored the tearful sound, somewhere between a sob and a scoff, he threw in response and stepped forward again. "I would never hurt you to prove a point. Get that idea out of your head, because it's not true at ALL, and I'm so sick of you painting me as some  _ monster _ who set out to ruin your fucking life! You're not the only one who was hurt, but you're the only one who can't fucking  _ MOVE ON,  _ Taako! I don't know what else you want me to say!"  

Taako was absolutely livid, yelling at top volume now. "Oh! OH! You want ME to move on, sure, sure, let me just quickly forget what you did and how much it fucking  _ fucked me up forever.  _ You have another Voidfish up in Maggie's room that you can feed that to?" 

They began to yell over each other, each time building in volume and tears, until Taako finally let out a cry. “THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I  _ can’t  _ move on, I don’t know how to because you  _ fucking took everything from me!” _ The words rang in her ears and suddenly she was back on the moon base, Taako’s staff pointed at her throat. She met his eyes in fear as he continued to yell through his tears. “You took half of me away, you made me believe that my whole fucking life I was  _ alone!  _ And so when Sazed was there I was so afraid he would leave that I just kept him around, no matter what he did, and then he-- he killed all those people and he made me think it was  _ me!  _ I haven’t slept through the night in years, I haven’t ever had a home, I’ve had NOTHING!” He met her eyes as angry tears poured down his face. “All that time I could have been looking for her, I could have found her and brought her home and she could have been here and we wouldn’t be so fucking  _ disconnected  _ now and I wouldn’t have to somehow reconcile the fact that every memory of my life was a cloud of fucking static where Lup was supposed to be and I wouldn’t have been crossing the fucking world thinking I was just some idiot fucking wizard who was never worth keeping, running around  with two strangers and Madam  _ fucking  _ Director who was lying through her teeth the whole fucking  _ time!”  _ He sobbed. _ “ _ Couldn’t you have just admitted you were fucking wrong for once? Was it really worth ruining our lives? Was it really fucking worth losing your family? I had  _ nothing  _ because of you. 40 people  _ died  _ because of you. Lup was in that fucking umbrella for ten  _ fucking  _ years because of  _ you!  _ You can come to dinners, you can make your flowery apologies, you can fuck Magnus all you want, but it won’t erase what you did to us, even him. And hey, maybe I don't, but  _ he  _ deserves better than that and you  _ know it!”  _

And there came Lucretia's broken cry to his final blow. "Haven't you done enough?"  

And, Taako, still screaming: "Haven't  _ I DONE ENOUGH!?"  _

_ "That's IT!  _ Both of you!"  

And there, in the doorway with cider in hand, was Magnus.  

Lucretia slumped slightly against the counter as Taako began to babble apologies peppered with "Mag"s and "Maggie”s. "I'm so sorry, things just, things got out of hand. I'm sorry, I'm so—" 

Magnus stepped into the room and placed the bottles down on the counter, looking from Lucretia, staring down at the floor, and Taako, approaching him quickly. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to."  

Taako stopped in his tracks. "I—you're joking, right?"  

"You want to fight? Fine. Do it at your place, or on the damn moon. You aren't going to do this in my house."  

Taako laughed, but was unable to hide his second round of impending tears. "Whatever, I guess. Sure, yeah, I'll just apologize for everything I evidently did to Lucretia, meanwhile you just fall back into bed together and everything is forgive and forget, right? Water under the fucking bridge, and Taako's the one who's crazy for still—for still—"  

"It's not about that and you know it. And I'd appreciate it if you left my business out of it. This is my house, and you're not going to treat  _ anybody  _ like that while you're here. I suggest you leave before any of us do anything else we'll regret."  

Lucretia looked from Magnus to Taako. She'd never seen him look so... stern. So angry. And she knew it wasn't only directed at Taako.  

Taako tipped his chin up at Magnus, ignoring Lucretia to his side. "Well, regret is a new concept for some of us, evidently."  

"Enough."  

"Like, she stabs us all in the back and your first impulse is to suck face? Spare me."  

Magnus sighed, wiping a hand over his face. "Taako, I said enough. I'm not going to fight with you! I'm not going to give you that." 

Taako laughed, broken and hysterical. "Guess I'll go fuck myself! And hey, go fuck each other like nothing ever fucking happened!” He was nearly to the door as his composure started to slip, voice softening, shoulders slumping as he reached for the doorknob. “I'm already fucking gone. Taako out."  

The door slammed loudly behind him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters!! ->


	2. Chapter 2

Lucretia watched as Magnus slumped against the counter and slowly slid back against the cabinets and onto the floor. "Magnus, I am so, so sor—"  

He held up a hand to stop her. "Lucretia... what happened?" 

“He came to drop by and see you, I guess. He clearly wasn’t expecting me to be here.” She avoided his gaze, looking at the walls, at the clock, anywhere but his face. “How much did you hear?” 

“I… enough, I think. And what he said about me isn’t--” 

“He’s right, you know,” she cut him off, wavering a bit across from him. “About all of it.” 

“No, Luce,” he breathed, making a move to stand to go to her, but before he could, she slid down against the wooden cabinets opposite him and put her face in her hands. 

“Yes, he’s right. He is. None of that would have happened if I’d just… asked for help.” 

“No, please don’t say that.” 

She sobbed, falling apart again now. “He told me I shouldn’t be family to any of you now, and that he thinks I did all of this to purposefully ruin your lives. I know I was a monster for doing that, I can’t take it back now no matter what I do.” 

Her breathing quickened as she pulled her knees closer to her chest, whimpering a little as more tears rushed from her eyes. She was exasperated with herself. How much could one person cry? 

Magnus leaned forwards to her side of their shared floor space and took her wrists into both of his hands. “Lucy, Lucy, hey, please look at me. Breathe with me.” 

A flicker of a black eye and a red jacket and a young, crooked smile crossed her mind. When she’d panicked across years in the Starblaster, he’d been there to steady her. Anchor her, as always, for always. 

She looked up at him and took a deep breath with him. His eyes fluttered closed and she noticed how exhausted he looked; the kind that sleep didn’t fix. His hair was longer now, new scars on his face, his arms, and he’d grown broader, stronger, in his absence. 

She extended a trembling hand to steady it against his cheek. “I’m sorry, for everything.” 

“I forgave you a long time ago, Lucy.” he said softly. “I love you, and those things he said aren’t true. I just… I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of the fighting and the anger that  _ both _ of you contribute to. He shouldn’t blame you for it all, but it doesn’t even matter if you already blame yourself for it. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re dwelling on the past just as much as Taako is.” 

She pulled her hand away from his face and looked away, giving him his cue to move from kneeling in front of her to sitting on the floor by her side. 

“I don't… I can't move on. I can't let myself forget what I did to you.” 

“I don't mean to sound like Merle, but what good does dwelling on the past do? We can't change it now.” 

“How do you forgive yourself for something like that? Especially when it's been some time now and Taako still hates me. I just… I don't know. I don’t deserve to forgive myself and I don't deserve to move on. I don't even deserve to be around you.” 

He pulled her close to his side and caused her head to fall  easily against his broad shoulder. “Stop, please stop saying that. It's not true.”

“I don’t know anymore, baby,” she said, sounding small. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d called him something so affectionate. 

“We have to move forward. It’s the only thing we can do now. Things are different and it’s weird to not have the Hunger chasing us or having to worry about saving this world and the next. We’re all still adjusting. And Taako, he’s got… so much to adjust to, between Lup and the Hunger and everything that happened with you. He’s trying to take it one day at a time but… you know Taako. He doesn’t do well with feelings.” 

Her voice came out muffled from being buried in the sleeve of his shirt. “You talked to him about it.” 

“I’ve tried to, but it was nothing like what I saw back there. He didn’t mention any of that stuff to me.” 

She paused to dwell on that thought for a moment more. She couldn’t think of anyone Taako had come to trust more than Magnus, other than Lup, obviously. And even so, it seemed that he wasn’t talking about how he felt with even either of them. Being around her had clearly touched a nerve so deep that those self-imposed barriers broke like a dam, just pouring and pouring out what had been held, pressurized, for so long. 

“I didn’t know about Sazed. I didn’t know about the umbrella. I didn’t know just what Fisher would do to them. But he’s right, it is my fault. That’s on me.” 

Magnus sighed and pulled away from her so he could see her face. She looked up at him and dwelled on his scars. Her eyes followed the puckered lines to where they met wrinkles and the grey hairs that peppered his temples and sideburns. SIlently, she wondered which of those were her fault, too; what danger she’d sent him into with half his mind and experience, all to undo their mistake scattered into seven parts. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“It is, Magnus.” 

“No. It’s not.” 

She sighed. “I just wish I could take it all back. I wish I could just turn back time and fix everything and make it all okay again. I should have used the fucking chalice.” 

“If you took it all back, we’d be dead. You saved all of us. You weren’t wrong about everything, Luce. We should have listened to you,  _ I  _ should have listened to you when you told me. It was your barrier that stopped the Hun ger. Over a century, and you  _ stopped  _ the Hunger.” 

“I guess, but I just… he’s right, that the hurt I put everyone through for it was horrible. I don’t know.” She dissolved and tears took her voice so swiftly that she could barely get the words out. “He’s my family. I just want him back. I just want him back.” 

“We have to give him time.” 

They were quiet for a long while. He took her hand into his and rubbed a thumb over her knuckles. 

“Let’s go up to bed,” he suggested softly. When she didn’t answer, he stood and stretched, then scooped her gingerly into his arms with ease. “I’ve got you. It’s alright.” 

He carried her up the stairs and into his bedroom where he sat her on the edge of the bed and gave her one of his too-big shirts to sleep in. He stood in front of her and tipped her chin up to look at him. A tiny smile touched her bloodshot eyes; a peace offering, an attempt at normalcy. He wiped stray tears from her cheeks gently with the toughened pads of his thumbs.

“I love you.” He murmured. He held her face in both hands and craned down to kiss her. “No matter what anyone else says, I love you. You’re so good. You’re so good.” 

Gods, it had been so long since anyone had called her good. 

She resisted crying again and put her hands over his own on her face. “Can we go to sleep?” 

“Of course, honey,” he whispered. Her Magnus, tender and sweet and keeping her safe. 

Cider and cookies be damned and derailed by the night, she crawled into his bed and wrapped herself in his blankets. They smelled like him. A moment later he turned out the light, joined her, and curled around her naturally, as he always did. As he had for a century before.

She listened as his breathing started to slow and he murmured a little as sleep started to take him. He pulled her tighter against him and spoke softly at her ear. 

“Lucy,” he said softly. “You belong here.” 

And despite all of her guilt, despite their broken family, despite the trials and the relics and the century of running and the mistakes she’d made from the purest place of love in her heart, maybe she did belong. She closed her eyes and rejoiced in the feeling of his lips pressed to her shoulder.

She murmured her late reply into the darkness, careful not to wake him. “I love you, Magnus.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This has a sequel now! 
> 
> [Exception to the Rule](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664533)


End file.
